Fast Times at Mountain Home High

When some children experience a situation in which they don’t receive the usual attention from parents, they tend to act out. This was certainly the case during these diary entries.

Monday March 4th, 2013 8:30pm “Bom Bom” -Sam and the Womp

The past week has been semi-anti-social and FULL of family drama. I no longer sit by Alex Rose, Bianca, or Conner (from school). It really sucks. Friday I found out Warm Bodies was in Mtn. Home, so I met up with Cambry and Jae and we shrieked (God). Nicholas Hoult is so freak’n hawttt… (My enthusiasm makes me want to vomit).

Anywho, Saturday I shopped at Maurices and got some new flats and sunglasses. Monday I felt really sick so I stayed home. Because of the family drama such as Great Grandma Verna passing away and my grandma dee dee going insane, I’ve gotten such little attention lately. (Next page had a song on the top):

“Thrift Shop”-Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

I know it’s selfish but nobody has really texted, called, or asked to hang out for a couple of days (God was I needy). I know it’s depressing, but I’m the type of person that waits for someone to contact me first. I don’t want to be annoying. I’ve now realized, If I really want to talk to someone, I should just pick up the phone and see.

(Then I added a Life Checklist on the next page):

Life Checklist:

☑ Find a passion and pursue it (Was this cheer or Nursing? I guess I’ll never know)

☑Fall in love (Was this with Johnathan?)

☑Dream Big

☐ Drink Wine (Finally checked this one off not much later on)

☑ Eat Great Food

☑ Spend time with friends

☐ Believe in magic (This is troubling after twelve)

☑ Tell stories

☑ Reminisce of the old days

☑ Look to the future

☑ Travel Often

☑ Learn more

☐ Be Creative

☐ Spend time with those you admire

☐ Seize opportunities

☐ Love with all your heart

☐ Enjoy simple things

☑ Spend time with family

☑ Forgive even when it’s hard

☑ Smile often

☐ Be grateful

☐ Be the change you wish to see in the world

☐ Follow your dreams

☐ Be thankful

☑ Be nice to everyone

☐ Be happy

☐ Live for today

☐ Make every moment count.

I still have a bad habit of not making plans unless someone else makes plans. I really need to work on this in 2019. Although I’ve gotten used to having few friends who love me and understand me, I would have more if I would only make plans and be active in my relationships. I think it’s easy to just get in the habit of not making an effort in keeping relationships when that is the foundation of any relationship. Making an effort. Making plans or just offering to get a cup of tea and talk. It’s so easy but I’m sure I’m not the only one who thinks this is so hard.

I’ve been told when I was little that I was obnoxiously nice. Too annoying. Too forward. So, when I became an anxious self-aware teenager, I tried to make myself less and less interested. Less and less forward. Little by little, my friendships floundered.

Every day is  new day to make a change, try to be a better you. So that is my plan.

Saturday, March 23rd, 2013 12:00pm “Midnight City” -M83

So I had my last day of gymnastics on the 6th and I was really sad. I don’t remember doing much that weekend except relaxing. I had my first day of driver’s ed on the 13th. It was long and boring. We had a test every class. On the 16th I babysat a 3-year-old for 9 hours and earned $50 (I was definitely ripped off). Afterwards, I invited Cambry and Jae to spend the night. We watched Perks of Being a Wallflower and Pitch Perfect. Very fun. St. Patrick’s Day Flew by. This week was boring besides the surprising rain Wednesday and the snow Friday. I also had my first drive. It was so scary. I was going 10 mph and still not making good turns.

“Yamaha” -Delta Spirit

I had an issue with turns & speed control. 😦 but practice makes perfect right? I’m so glad spring break’s here. The next two months are going to be I.N.S.A.N.E. I’ve got driver’s ed twice a week, a drive 1-3 times a week, cheer practice once a week, ISATS, Science projects, April Fool’s Pranks, Prom [I almost got asked!], Lifegaurd training, Lifegaurd duty, Cheer tryouts, soccer tryouts and conditioning, and a social life. Sometimes I just can’t keep up. I need to start taking this time to relax, sort stuff out, organize time, and prepare myself for the next 51 days. Here’s to enjoying life at the moment ❤ Wish me luck.

 

Despite everything that was happening, I think I knew deep down that I wasn’t going to be able to do everything. With soccer season overlapping football cheer leading, I was going to have to choose one. Things were starting to pick up speed and getting a little out of control socially. Joining cheer leading would only mean hanging out with different people that partied more than the friends I had in soccer. People around you begin to notice these changes and see you in a different light. This isn’t all bad, it just means your changing as a person and some people are not tolerate to change. How must you check off something on your Life Checklist without change? Without people to support you?

Some food for thought.

 

Crazy Good Times

These were really good times. Back when I was fifteen there was no worry about the future or being an adult. I was halfway from being a kid and halfway from being an adult. I was ready to enjoy myself and become someone worth spending time with.

Tuesday, February 26th, 2013 9:00pm “Take a Walk” -Passion Pit

Our home tournament was long and tiring. The crazy thing was, I won four rounds, lost one, excluding my Quarter match. My dad had fun as well. Sunday we stuffed ourselves with food and I managed to get some homework done. That following week I presented my English project on 1930’s fashion and made crepes in French, and did my poetry out loud competition. The next week I spent making a Valentine for everyone. It was exhausting. Next year, I’m definitely going to make it more special for only certain people.

Amber’s dating a 20-year-old who spoiled her Valentine’s day with a Teddy Bear twice her size and $100 chocolates. She’s still with him, shockingly. I got really happy passing my notes though.

Friday the 15th Danny came over with his broken hand and said he was bored so we decided to get out. For lunch, Katherine took me to McDonald’s. Me and Danny drove to Shiok and laughed over dinner. Before we went to see Die Hard, he found out his friends were tagging his truck so he asked his dad to scare them off. Die Hard wasn’t bad! When we got home, out parents were hammered so we got our swimsuits on, got some beers, and snuck into the Perri’s backyard and chilled in their new jacuzzi. When Addie’s dad found out, he hopped in! About a week before I had to stop getting rides from her because I made her ‘late’ one morning, but I think it was because her and Marco broke up. Anyway, I had fun.

The rest of the weekend I relaxed. I managed to bike to Moxie Java and back on a windy day. I’m trying to go see Warm Bodies because I finished the book.

The next week was pretty boring. The only thing anticipating was the Harlem Shake which kept getting rescheduled. Eventually it happened last Friday across the street from the school. It was SO fun. Afterschool that day my friend Danny played Jesus in a play at this church. I was going to see him but changed my mind and watched Perks of Being a Wallflower. It was sad & amazing! Saturday was “my” day (to celebrate my birthday). My parents took all of us to Boise and we went to Jumptime [fun!] and the Cheesecake Factory! [yum!] and shopped. Then I went home and slept. Sunday was relaxing. Monday I got dolled up and got so many great hugs and wished from everyone. Even Johnathan (I believe this was Johnathan Deese)! I was so so happy. even Danny gave me a big birthday hug, tiara, and bear. During lunch, my mom took me to the Dilly Deli. It was okay, It also started snowing a lot. Afterschool I registered for my permit and afterschool I got mailed gifts. $100 in all! I was so happy. My favorite show The Carrie Diaries came on too. Well, here’s to being fifteen years old!

Wish me luck!

-Alysa

P.S. My favorite characters in books are fifteen!

Looking back on my youth, I think it invigorates me today as I am now twenty. I still have that same energy and ability to reach out to friends, make plans, and have fun. I just don’t do it enough. Take a look at what is the most immature but crazy reminder of that year below:

What’s something crazy you’ve wanted to do again?

My First Party

I barely remember this party, but this probably where I started to get scared of my parents. I’m not sure what it is about the teenage psyche, the part of the brain that goes, “Hey, it would be smart if the parent’s just didn’t know about it, or at least they find that their child is innocent and had no idea there was alcohol at this party”. What the teenage frontal lobe has a hard to comprehending is that all parents were once a teenager. And all parents know exactly what their child is scheming.

February 1st, 2013 8:37pm “Arms” -Christina Perri

I’ve never been this antisocial since last summer when I had no life, no friends, just books (I had just back moved to Idaho). But this time alone made me wonder who my real friends were. So the weekend Maritza came back, I came over and helped her with homework and took her to Shiok!( Very good Singaporean restaurant). And I think she liked it. So the week past quickly. Nothing interesting happened except we got a snow day Thursday and stayed home and Tuesday I looked terrible at handstands in front of all the cheerleaders. Also, Wednesday was a blast! I had so much fun tumbling and flipping on trampolines. Addie can drive now so she’s been taking me to school instead of Danny.

Last Saturday I got invited to Alexis’s Sweet Sixteen. Me and Amber decided we’d carpool. So we get to this party and people are already high as a kite, but me, Amber, and Alexis just laugh and play fool’s ball. It was getting really late and my curfew was 11:00. I asked Amber if her mom was coming soon, she just said “she isn’t calling me back, she’s supposed to be coming home from work.” So my dad got really mad. I had him come get me, ‘cuz Amber said she would go home with Alondra, who’s been drinking. So my parents had a long talk with me, they knew there was alcohol at this party, and they knew I didn’t drink, but they trusted on me to get a ride home. So I’m grounded for a week.

Luckily this week there was no MHHS tumbling. Cheermastics was fun this Wednesday except I need to work on my arm and ab muscles to hold my body up. Monday we got the Avatar series! We were SO happy we’ve been watching it nonstop, and we’ve gotten halfway through Book 2, also I’m reading Warm Bodies, the book, before the Zombie movie. It’s to die for 🙂 (I’m so sorry I was so cringey here). Tomorrow I’m debating all day. My dad’s judging too! I’ve got so much going on. Not to mention the Superbowl this Sunday!

Well, wish me luck ❤

Alysa

 

We hate to admit how stupid we are, but sometimes it’s not until you are older that you see it. These things may even become more clear when you’re raising your own teenagers. As if, you could be staring at your own adolescent reflection, able to finally tell what you would have liked to hear yourself. But every child is different, and your child is never exactly like yourself. The advice you wish you heard may not be what the kid needs. Growing and learning is always a continuing process. Never quite perfect.

The Crimson Wave Approaches

There is a distinct sound or feeling you get before something big happens. You feel it in your bones like a quiet fluttering of wings. I feel as though it’s not until you know afterwards what that feeling would entail until it happens. This is the calm before the storm.

Monday Jan. 21st, 2013 12:00am “Already Gone” Jenny Owen Youngs

Not a lot has happened. I had a really cute french mani for about a week. I finally decided to start on my diet. I’ve been logging in my food, exercise, and drinking more water. I’ve already seen improvements in my complexion and hair.

Before school started again I spent the night at Mitza’s and had some fun. So we got used to our new classes. Health is okay, it’s a little annoying, Art is kinda boring besides the people. Last weekend I went to BSU debate and totally killed it. I got an Excellent (2nd place) in LD debate beating all the other novices. I went 4-1! The food was pretty good. They had Steaks, Subway, the good stuff. It was a cold ride home.

This last week I was trying to be more social. I went to a tennis meet but found myself uninterested. I turned in my Driver’s Ed Application. Hopefully I letter. I also went to a basketball game, it was fun and I got to meet a lot of people. Some I made bad impressions on, like going back and forth between two bestfriends. One of which was high at the game. After Mitza left for Mexico the 8th, our friendship was falling apart. It was lonely. But this weekend she’s back and so I’m hoping I can see her tomorrow. This week my mom signed me up for Cheermastics on Wednesdays and Tumbling on Tuesdays to prepare for Cheer tryouts. I start this week. Also, me and my sister’s obsession with Avatar has gotten so much stronger. We pooled our money together and bought the entire series online and are waiting for it to get here. Can’t wait!

This weekend was utterly antisocial. Yes, I texted and  all, but I didn’t do much but eat, watch TV, surf internet, watch a chick on youtube eat a tampon, go shooting with my dad, and exercise. Tomorrow I’ve got some serious homework and friend-time to do. Haha.

Wish me luck ❤

Things were starting to change quickly. You’ll soon see why I wished to have never signed up for Cheerleading at MHHS. If I never started cheer here and quit, I would have never found Cheerleading at my new school THS. Sometimes the worst things that ever happened to you help you find the best things that ever happened to you.

Ring in the New Year

Whenever the sounds of Christmas is over we can finally start thinking about the new year. What is something we hope to accomplish this year? What will surprise us? What will inspire us? Knowing a New Year is just beginning feels better than any birthday party. You aren’t getting any younger, but it’s a realization that time is passing us anyway.  We might as well take chances and say yes.

Wednesday January 2nd, 2013 4:00pm “Ho Hey” The Lumineers

Wow, it’s been approx. 2 weeks! And we lived! I can’t wait to tell my children and grand kids how many times I’ve survived the apocalypse.  The dinosaur didn’t hurt Mitza. She basically said, “I’m not mad”. Her BF was dumped, and now he’s the bad guy. So after the finals I got good scores except my global perspectives final, a C. I still have a B- in the class. Didn’t fail! Haha.

Saturday was fun. I went to Taylor’s X-mas party with our fondue. It was really fun. We watched Elf and played games. One of the games was where we all stood in a line and had to pass an orange by the crease in our neck. It was like making out! I had to do it with Shaun 0.0 Holland. Ohh my god. I left after some Just Dance and came home to my grandparents who I forgot to mention, is staying here for Christmas & New Year’s! In my room -__-

After watching every Christmas movie imaginable, Christmas came along. Everyone awoke and we opened our presents. I got headphones, perfume, $150, a sweater, Pj’s of course, $10 iTunes giftcard, eyeshadow, & Just Dance 4! I was hoping to stay in my PJ’s all day but the Brescia’s came over haha. Danny got this cool helicopter for Christmas. The controller is your iPhone.

The next day we made a two hour drive up to sun valley. It’s beautiful there. Mountains and hills are covered with snow. We went into our rented townhouse and relaxed. Thursday we went to the Dollar mountain. I saw the Short family and said hi to Rachel. It took some practice on the bunny hill before I went on the half dollar. I went twice and happened to fall twice on each time before making it all the way home. I was so tired and hungry afterward. I had blisters on my feet.

The next morning I felt extremely sick. I was bee-lining toward the bathroom, but grandpa was taking a shower! I threw up right there…. in a bowl. I felt so much better afterwards. I went shopping with mom. Then we all had dinner together at a pub. Coincidentally, we saw the Shorts again! I called Mitza that night and packed. Saturday we drove home and relaxed. Sunday we relaxed.

Monday we ordered food and cleaned. I had invited Katherine Parker over for the party because she wasn’t doing anything. We had a blast! We talked and she met Danny. We threw pop-its at adults and went dirt-racing. Only, we popped the tank, making it leak oil. Thank goodness we made it home! Danny’s parents were not happy, but later we had fun and the adults got uber drunk. We ate, drank, played Just Dance, took photos. It was really fun. We counted down, lit fireworks, and Katherine left. I was exhausted. Everyone just about went home.

Jan. 1st my parents were hung over so we stayed home all day and ate, watched Batman: The Dark Knight Rises. Such a good movie. Grandma and Grandpa left so it was peaceful, quiet, and I got my room back. Today I woke up early and got ready to go to Boise. We went serious shopping. I had $70. Ohhh boy! I first bought some tea tree mask then got a sweatshirt at Hollister but returned it, haha. I got a beautiful bra from H&M, then at Target I got a really cute top and french manis! Tonight I’m getting my mask and nails done. I’m nervous about school and debate next week. 0.0

Wish me luck!

❤ Alysa

These were really good times now that I’m looking back on it. But you can’t be sad and say to yourself, “Well my Christmas this year was not as nearly as exciting as the last.” Maybe it isn’t as exciting, but think about what you wanted to accomplish over break. Maybe you wanted to just sit on the couch and do nothing but relax. And you know? That’s exactly what I’m doing. So don’t feel bad about telling people you didn’t do much, because we need moments to just take a break from the chaos that will soon be following the holidays. Going into the New year, it’s great to look back on these times with happiness, but never envy or compare it to today. There are better moments to be made in the future by yourself, if you get yourself some motivation to make them great.

“You Need to Get On A Diet”

I remember when reading this page in my diary, the pain it felt writing it. The raw aching tears that drove me wildly grabbing for it, scribbling angrily or sometimes weakly. What hurt me consistently wasn’t just how others felt about me, it was truly about how I felt about myself. I was never too fat but when I wasn’t unhealthily starving myself, you always could pinch an inch from my arm or stomach. When I was a 14-year-old in high school, you could no longer be the “mature” bunch at your school that boys gawked at. You became the rugrats that everyone either laughed at or creepily reeled in for control. You wanted to look amazing every day, but you also didn’t want to draw unwanted attention.

December 17th, 2012 7:07pm “Little Talks” Of Monsters and Men

So I guess the end of the world is soon. Haha. I’m going to laugh when we all wake up on the 22nd alive. But some still believe in it and so there’s been many shootings in malls and in small towns. Last weekend there was a shooting at an elementary school that killed 20 little kids and 6 adults. It’s so tragic it’s all over the world news. Finals are this week. I’m so nervous. We have so  much homework. It sucks a lot. I guess Mitza kissed a guy Saturday who had a girlfriend. I’ll protect her inn anyway possible from “The Dinosaur”. Anyway, my dad told me I need to get on a diet. I’m a teenager! I’m actually underweight. I can’t be a beautiful stick-thin model. No matter how hard I try. God, help me become skinnier. It’s unhealthy for me to be this way. I’m actually damaging the body you gave me by eating so much.

Taylor invited me to a Move/X-mas Party. We are watching Elf. He’s also invited Caleb. I’m no good for him. I’m too ugly an imperfect for him. I wish somehow I’ll meet someone who doesn’t care how I look, and loves me for who I am. Because I can’t make the same mistake twice.

Wish me goodluck ❤

Alysa

 

Along with the scary issues going on around the world, eating disorders are still at my ripe age of 21. Our government needs to really focus on mental disorders and obtain more research on this along with how the media affects the health of young women. A year or so after I wrote this, I had an eating disorder again. But luckily today, I no longer take anxiety medications, and I’m on my way from being 160 lbs August 2018(25 lbs overweight for my height) to now being 140 lbs (December 2018). Tomorrow I plan on going for a run and doing a quick workout. Today was Christmas and I only had three pieces of chocolate! I’m trying really hard to just make small habits throughout the day, and try to not overexercise and starve like I used to. Many people would say this is so easy or how did you lose the weight so fast? Can I try what you are doing? And the real answer is that it’s so different for everyone. Some people are more prone to eating disorders than others. So losing weight in a healthy way is very hard. Slow is honestly the way to go if I need to lose weight for overall health. I wasn’t overweight here like I am now. That’s exactly what I wish I would have told myself here. But we never can tell ourselves these things. Sometimes I wonder what my future self is telling me at this very moment. What would your future self be telling you about the way you’re living?